With Valentines, over for another year.. how do you keep the passion firing and steamy hot for the 364 days of the year…
What would you say if you had 100% control to make sex last for longer and enjoy multiple orgasms because of it?
Would your answer be a yes but at the back of your mind would you still have this niggling doubt and think it seems impossible to achieve sexual perfection like this.
Well according to our tantrastic Pleasure Professor, our guest blogger this week by practising tantric sex you can enjoy sex sessions that last for hours and create a powerful connection between you and your partner.
The pleasure professor Sex therapist Louise Van der Velde, author of A Decent Proposal gives us a guide to perfecting tantric sex.
Controversy surrounds The Pleasure Professor new book with steamy debate on her ideas on marriage, love and pleasure we have included links to her new book + her interviews.
Channel 7 in Australia Sunrise Is Marriage Outdated
If you want to read the last chapter of her book for free visit The Pleasure Professor’s website
What is Tantric sex?
It is a Hindu practice dating back more than 5,000 years. Tantra means ‘the weaving and expansion of energy.’
Tantra encapsulates an entire body of divine teaching going back centuries.
For now, we’re simply going to explore the practical side of Tantra and how you can use its ancient exercises to boost your sex life.
Put simply, it is a slow form of sex that increases intimacy and can create a mind-body connection which can lead to more powerful and prolonged orgasms.
If you put more time and effort into sex, you will reach a higher and more intense form of ecstasy.
How do you do it?
The key is not to focus too closely on your orgasm. Instead prolong the foreplay for as long as possible before taking sex to its natural end.
Delaying orgasm can be difficult for some people, particularly men – but it can be done using a variety of techniques including meditation, breathing exercises and massage.
1. Get some scented candles, turn off your phone and prepare to devote at least two hours to your lover.
2. Loosen your body: Tantra is about moving energy through the body, so shake your limbs vigorously to energise and unblock your system before you start.
3. Stay off the bed. This will trigger the sleep button in your brain. Tantra is not about a quick romp – you are seeking a deep connection. Get comfortable by lying on the floor with your partner using some cushions.
4. Stimulate the senses. Sight: the most powerful of the senses. It is important you look good. Wear some sexy lingerie; decorate the room with some fresh flowers. Smell: use oils like rose, ylang-ylang and Jasmine. Hearing: sing to your partner or whisper intimately into their ear. Play their favourite music. Taste: melted chocolate, honey and fresh fruit all work. As the sex becomes more intimate, you should apply them to body parts and lick them off. Touch: massage their extremities – head, neck, hands and feet.
5. Now get even more intimate. Sit face-to-face – with the woman on the man’s lap if this is comfortable. Wrap your hands tightly around each other and press your bodies against each other. This kind of skin contact promotes greater feelings of intimacy.
6. Let the foreplay become more intimate. Take your time and leisurely make your way around their body. Try a variety of touches – firm massage, light feathery touches, and gentle stroking. The aim here is to heighten your lover’s senses in a slow and intense way so that you’re building them up to a peak but stopping just short before the orgasm. Oral sex now is
fine – but not to the point of climax. We are aiming to make the pleasure last for hours.
7. Now stand up opposite each other. Look in each other’s eyes – place your left hand on your partner’s heart. He should do the same to you. Match each other’s breathing for at least two minutes.
8. Try some role play – use a blindfold. Take it turns: one should be submissive and one dominant.
9. Progress beyond foreplay to intercourse. Avoid any position that you know makes you orgasm easily. Work towards a gradual build-up of pleasure. The slower you take it, the more intense the orgasm will be at the end.
10. As you are both reaching orgasm, slow your breathing down. This will seem illogical – most of us breath more quickly as we approach climax. Women, in particular, can tense up at this stage of sex as they try to make themselves come. Instead relax your tummy and take long, slow deep breaths – your orgasm will last longer and be more intense.
Homework from the Pleasure Professor:
Don’t give up: If you don’t last beyond 10 minutes, try again. Tantric sex takes time to get to grips with because we’re all used to sex in a Western way – this means we expect sex to have an obvious start, middle and end. Use your imagination and your sex life can go off in all sorts of new directions. That’s Tantra!
Louise’s book is also available on Kindle via Amazon